“Fluffy Ain’t For Me!” Life After Weight Gain.
*DISCLAIMER*
Attention body-shaming keyboard crusaders.. This is not in any way, shape, or form a way of shaming. Please don’t come for me, because I haven’t sent for you. That’s all:)
These are MY thoughts.
I hate fat. With a passion. Please be clear: I don’t hate myself. Nor, do I hate overweight people. I hate FAT. It has disrupted the quality of life that I became accustomed to after losing weight. Gaining some of it back has made me come to this conclusion: Fluffy Damn Sure Ain’t For Me! These are the top 2 reasons that I feel this way:
1.) I’m Ballin On A Budget.
When I lost 54 lbs, I had to purchase damn near an entire new wardrobe. Most of my clothing had become entirely too big, and I was out here looking crazy! I had to rid myself of oversized garments that were taking up too much precious space in my closet. With the exception of a few pairs of “bloated day” jeans that I kept, my sizes 14 thru 18 clothing was sold and/or donated. I wasn’t ever going to allow myself to return to that size, so there was no need to hold onto them. Also, because my frugal ass was NOT about to spend a ton of money repurchasing another wardrobe, I had to keep the weight off. My closet kept me motivated.
Unfortunately, my recent weight gain outgrew the mediums and size 10’s that I was starting to own exclusively. Getting dressed isn’t nearly as fun as it once was. There is absolutely nothing enjoyable about struggling to pull up a pair of jeans that once slid on with ease. Repeating this struggle of trying to find a pair of jeans in my closet that still fits, day in and day out, has forced me to spend money that I shouldn’t have to. It’s either that or be a “black leggings bandit” for the rest of my life! I refuse to be reduced to settling for stretch pants with errrrrrrrry outfit.
2.) Ain’t Nobody Got Time For Fat!
Being fluffy is literally causing me to be tardy for the party. And for work. And numerous other occasions. Why? Because nothing fits! As I mentioned earlier, I have gotten rid of clothing that had become too big, and purchased sizes that were smaller and more flattering. Well… Since my weight gain, those pieces aren’t nearly as flattering as they once were. I have been having to change outfits at least 3 times EACH TIME I get dressed because of this. The days of being able to slip into just about anything in my closet is now a distant memory.
This is kind of embarrassing, but do you want to know what else drives me absolutely insane and causes me to be late? Trying to peel off the clothing that has become to small without completely ripping it to shreds like the Incredible Hulk. Pulling a too snug dress from over my head is a complicated, time-consuming and sweaty process, and who feels like that shit? Not I, said the fluffy one. I’m yearning for the days of getting dressed with ease and in record time.
To be completely honest, if I would have never lost weight, than I probably wouldn’t be complaining about any of this. Being overweight was such a huge part of my life for a long time, so I’ve always just adapted to my size and the limits that I have had because of it. Getting a taste of the “other side” aka being fit and obtaining my desired physique, has shown me that being fat is not what I desire to be. It literally weighs me down. Makes me lethargic. And worst of all: it makes me open up old wounds that I thought were healed. Revisiting my past in the form of struggling with obesity hasn’t been fun in any way. It brings me back to a chapter in my life that never want to read again. This isn’t an attack on my self or self-esteem. This is an attack on the enemy: FAT. And you better believe that FAT is aware of the war I have waged against it. It’s time for this heaux to go!
Mell B
Instagram: Mellbfit
