“CUT THE FAT, CUT THE BULLSHIT!” Finding my way back to fit.

 In Advice, health, weight loss journey

I’m fat. Again. Although I had absolutely no intention of being the “F word” again, shit happens! I could easily wallow in misery, cry and be angry with myself, but none of that will help me successfully get back to where I once was or beyond. So instead of throwing myself a pity party for one, I’m getting off of my fluffy ass and doing something about it.

If you, like myself, have found yourself once again dreading stepping on the scale, after having a successful run with weight loss, then this piece is for you! These are the measures that I’m taking to get out of my own way:


It’s great that I once went down from a size 18 to a size 8. It’s amazing that I once managed to lose a great deal of weight. And I absolutely love seeing my former transformation pictures. But… all of that is in the past. Currently, the weight that I have gained back is equivalent to the weight of a well-nourished toddler. At this very moment, my “after” picture is a distant memory.

The truth is, me bragging about my former weight loss accomplishment is equivalent to a professional couch dweller reminiscing about how he was the man and star football player in high school 15 years ago. He, just like myself, may have once been celebrated, admired, and accomplished.. but those past successes hold little value if they aren’t CURRENTLY being maintained or surpassed.


When I was at my lowest weight, I was at the highest peak of my life. Not just because I was physically smaller, but because I had finally developed the mental strength needed to accomplish a major lifelong goal. I did that. Nobody but me! Setting goals and demolishing them gives you a boost of confidence that is incomparable to anything else. Any mirror that I walked past reflected my hard work, so of course I couldn’t stay out of them, lol. The better I looked and felt, the better I began to do in LIFE, period. Being consistent with practicing self-discipline literally spills over into every area of your life.

Fast forward to today. My body is not what it once was. Although I still don’t hate what I see when I look in the mirror, I am able to honestly assess my reflection. When I stand in front of the mirror without a stitch of clothing, I am forced to face my reality. My body is a reflection of recent decisions that I have made. The poor eating. Lack of consistent exercise. Laziness. It is important to see this image, to feel it, to take it all in without the filters and angles. And without taking a trip into your feelings.

We never need to be ashamed of what we see in the mirror. However, we do need to face OUR TRUTH. That truth may hurt, but avoiding it will hurt even more.


Befriending a group of strangers, via another stranger that ran a weight loss challenge, was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I joined the challenge (FCK Being Fat) a few years ago, after simply growing tired of having an over abundance of fluffiness. One of the requirements of the challenge was to connect with the other women who were also participating in the challenge, via an instant messaging app. These women; who’s backgrounds, age, nationality, religion, and location may have differed from mine, became a huge source of motivation during my journey.

Not only did these women become my friends, they became a safe haven of sorts for me; in the sense of being there for me on days that I felt so alone in my journey. Days that I felt stuck and uninspired. Allowing me to vent or share my excitement about my new lifestyle kept me interested in saving me from myself. It’s not that I don’t have close friends or family, it’s just that we don’t always share a mutual feeling of excitement or importance of the same interests. It’s really hard to not feel like an annoyance when you are chasing a goal that your inner circle may not have any interest in committing to. Who wants to hear about your boring ass meals? Who cares that you lost 0.3 lbs this week? Those ladies did, and they STILL care.

Based on my experience with these women, I strongly suggest that you consider joining a weight loss group, either online or in person. You will feel so much more motivated, trust me. The combination of positive energy and tough love is the recipe for success in this lifestyle. Surround yourself with people that will give you all of that and more, and you will never permanently fall.

The feeling of failure is natural during a setback in this journey. I’ve recently had fleeting moments of it my damn self. I’be invested so much time, energy, and money into my weight loss journey, and to know that that work was unraveled so easily, has caused many moments of self-doubt and frustration. Sadness even.

Then I snap out of it. And I say to myself, “Mell, you are the shit! You dedicated yourself to a MAJOR goal that most people have and KILLED IT! Not only did you lose over 50 lbs, you kept it off for years! You took no shortcuts, no gimmicks, no photoshop.. all from the muscle! Pick your damn head up and be PROUD of yourself!”

Weight gain happens to the very best of us. One thing that I’ve grown to understand, is that weight gain or loss is not a reflection of our failures or accomplishments, but more so a reflection of where we are in our lives mentally. This is exactly why we can have all of the tools and knowledge about how to lose weight, and still not be able to do so. It doesn’t click until our minds and bodies are in sync.

If you are experiencing a physical setback like I am, don’t beat yourself up. We have proven to ourselves and others over the years that we are more than capable of accomplishing what many deem impossible. If we did it once, there’s no doubt in my mind that it can be done again! Let’s work!!


Mell B

Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/mellbfit

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